What “Why” to find in days to come

The context of my life has changed. Because of this I found myself asking: what am I doing? where am I going? I have discovered a part of me in need of an inner journey of knowing myself, a journey that makes use of two passions that lie close to my heart – photography and writing.

As a need arose where I tried to define myself, These two passions, photos and words, have merged together and became a process that is fundamentally abstract. For me the tale, or poem, or reflection which accompanys each picture has grown to take more time in its creative process compared to the planning, shooting, and post-process of a single picture. Each image is a cognitive based trek if you will, wandering along a narrow uneven path.

a path we do take
roads left in our wake
crossroads of choice
a burden of mine

wanderers trekking
throughout our life
we share memories
of good and strife

road sign to guide
which way to take
whatever choice
this path is at stake

alone we walk
along a path
but merge at times
on roads that cross
or share at most
to find comfort
of arms embraced
my mind at ease
take my hand
and welcome me home
where we share a road
or place in time

is where I call home

But this insight, that I photograph to get into myself, is not an easy one, an insight that will be heavy to bear and hard to comprehend. I have found myself keeping pictures that I’m proud of private, I haven’t published them online. They are for me to reflect over and aid me in my journey of discovering myself; my journey to learn to live with myself. To help me in my quest I emptied my whole repertoire of mini figures that I usually bring, and now I bring only one: the plain generic mini figure that spoke to me in an unusual way. It lured me to imagine more and see beyond what was actually visible. I tried to break down that wall I had put up for myself:

Concrete walls. Razor wire fences. Barriers everywhere. But barriers won’t change anything, haven’t we learned that isolation solves nothing. As George Bernard Shaw said: “We learn from experience that men never learn anything from experience.” It seems we’re traveling down a path that rhymes well with history, still in living memory of humanity.

It’s the notion and challenge that through one simple figure there are a vast amount of tales and different perspectives to imagine. Through this figure I can imagine my own tale, explore my thoughts, explore myself and let others explore themselves, looking at a picture with an open mind. I hope that for someone viewing my images that they will spark a specific feeling or thought, other times I just wish to provoke a reaction or make a statement. But the truth of the matter is pictures, as I see it, can be viewed only through the subjective perspective and thus what I can hope for is a reaction that will inspire some kind of response no matter what it might be. So my posts always have two sides. First, the picture for the viewer who may see himself reflected, and secondly with the text. I hope to convey and to describe myself to some extent through the words. The words express the feelings I have, my trail of thought, and hopefully this combination will leave the viewer with a perspective of – me.

Through these pictures and words I try to symbolize what it means to be human. What it means to be me. The picture is in some ways the mirror through which I look into and gaze at my own eyes, perceiving my own mind.

Water
A mirror
Dark
Menacing
Cold
And still it makes me feel at peace, serene and unbroken.

Everything in life changes, and so do the reasons why we do things. Perhaps this new angle of approach to shooting pictures, exploring the inner me, will not be appreciated by social media and the rest of the community. As a follower kindly stated: “This new line of photos are too plain. Will you get back to shooting more of what you used to?” (That would be more action filled photos in the Star Wars universe for those of you who are familiar with my backlog.) Now, I’m one for honesty and a constructive debate and even though I actually enjoy and interact more with these kind of comments, it made me ponder: What if I did this thing because I strive to make everyone else happy? What if I took the kind of pictures that would rate high in interactions and likes? Not the pictures I’m showing  here, which dipped rather low and got only a third as much interaction in comparison. Did I fail in my goal of having people stop and reflect? Perhaps. But I will say this: the road I travel at the moment is one for me, and if people want to tag along, then they are most welcome.

The road ahead of me,
The road under my feet,
I’m sorry I took so long,
Since last I visited,

Here I place my feet,
I feel you carry me on,
One step at a time,
In a repetitive motion

You always listen,
Never interrupting,
Free of judgment,
I feel accepted,

Onward you carry me,
To the inevitable end,
I won’t forget you,
Soon I’ll visit again.

I have come to understand and experience what most of us have a hard time appreciating: I have experienced a situation where people don’t feel like themselves. I understand that when they suffer an illness that leaves them in a state of depression and chronic pain, that they have little control of their own thoughts and emotions, of their own life, and they feel they are the slaves to the will of others. Even as I can relate to some of these emotions, I stand bewildered and lost when faced with certain aspects of humanity; the loneliness, the anger, the desperation, the guilt, and a constant battle for control. The value of “self” diminishes and I have tried to show this in the way I portrayed this figure

Christoffer  – @ East_Mountain